GUILTY! When the long arm of the law doesn’t tickle your fancy.

GUILTY!  When the long arm of the law doesn't tickle your fancy.


After hearing about the fact that we have some very weird laws regarding sex/intimacy all around the world, I decided to investigate and so here are my top 10 weirdos.

1) On the wrong tracks!
Seems like a miscarriage of justice – but lovers face fines for kissing on Austria’s trains.The £42 penalties were brought in to prevent “discourteous behaviour” after moans that amorous passengers were losing track of common decency. Conductors also have the power to kick offending couples off the train.

2) Just married!
Honeymooners would be wise to avoid hiring a car in Eboli, Italy, just south of Naples… because kissing in a moving vehicle here can carry a fine of up to £415.

3) In hot water!
In 1985, officials in Swaziland banned couples from making love in a hot spring called Cuddle Puddle. Ministers threatened couples with fines and even jail for “having sexual intercourse underwater”.

4) A step too far!
Under a centuries-old law, couples in Birmingham, Alabama, can be fined for disorderly conduct if they have sex “on the steps of any church after the sun goes down”.
But the law says nothing about getting intimate in daylight. 😉

5) Wild about animals!
An antiquated law in Iran that’s still on the statute books permits men to have sex with certain types of domestic animals. But it forbids any sexual contact with wild animals – particularly lionesses.
Also..In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.

6) Blinking Barmy
In Ottumwa, Iowa, men are banned from winking at women they don’t know while they are within the city limits.

7) Just a small one
The married women of La Paz, Bolivia, are allowed to sip just one glass of wine in a public bar or restaurant. The ruling claims that women who have more than that to drink are “morally and ­sexually lax”, and they can be divorced by their husbands if they are caught over-indulging.

8) Baaaa none
Most Middle Eastern countries recognize the following Islamic law: “After having sexual relations with a lamb, it is a mortal sin to eat its flesh.”

9) She came with a bang!
In Connorsville, Wisconsin, it’s illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner has an orgasm.

10) Beep beep beep!
It’s safe to make love while parked in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho. Police officers aren’t allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two minutes before getting out of his car to investigate.

Well I just can’t get my breath at number 8, words fail me!!…and as for number 9, I think I would like the sound of my partner shooting his gun (if he had one) when I have an orgasm, it would be a sign of his celebration and excitement at my ravenous primal bucking. (He does love to see me come.)  Although I don’t think the neighbours would like it, disturbing them two or three times a night, seven days a week! 😉

Never heard it called hooking before :/

Never heard it called hooking before :/

Keeping the spark alive: Number 1

I have been wondering for a while now, what should my next post be about? After much deliberation and procrastination I have decided that following my original script, (In my about me page) I should be imparting some relationship tips…”Who am I to do that?” you say. “What qualifies me to do such a thing?” you say…..Well I have been married for 18, nearly 19 years and in this day and age I think that is pretty good going. I think myself and my hubby have a great relationship and it has only got better year on year. So this is the first of many (hopefully) top tips, for bettering your relationship and keeping that all important spark alive. 

Tip number 1

Send your partner a message today. It could be a text or an email or a note in his lunchbox or even a simple heart with your initials e.g. K4H drawn on his car window. The dirtier the better…the window that is, not the message….although…:) Anyway, as long as it is something that shows him or her that you love them or are thinking about them. We all need to feel loved and wanted and we shouldn’t take each other for granted, which can happen when you have been together a long time. If you would like to be on the receiving end of a sexy or loving message or poem you can be darn sure they would too…so do it first and get the ball moving today to keep the Spark alive.

Most days my hubby and I have a few flirty emails or sexy texts and now and again and even a poem or two. This one that I am going to share with you is from last week and is just an example of one of our messages. Yours doesn’t have to be anywhere near as long as this one, your message or poem can be short and sweet,  just as long as it conveys your thoughts or emotions.

Hubby’s emails are predictably in blue and mine are in pink.

She’s my beb, I miss her so

I’d like to pack my things and go

From work I say but not from home

I want to offer her my bone


But yesterday, she felt so down

I saw her with a great big frown

I hope today that she will know

That I in Stafford love her so.

Next, a phone call from me to H to say thank you for the poem……blah blah blah and we talked of the great sex we had had last night.

Panties discarded on the floor

Memories of the night before.

He licked my pussy and i got a good fucking

Tonight me thinks I’ll be doing some sucking!  Mmmmmm 😉

You make me horny!

My darling in Stafford with his bone

I enjoyed our talk upon the phone

It’s horny I make you so you say

Well come on home and have your way 🙂


I love you!                                                                                     

Thanks honey! 

I’ll have my way as well I will,

Although you may be sleeping still

A gentle trace around your sex

Will give a clue to what comes next. 


I love you too you very sexy poet (and luvhhhrrrr!) xxx

I loved that last one, I want to know what’s next? xxx

His gentle touch is feather light

A harbinger of pure delight 

Pleasure seeking, probing further

Descending into sexual fervour

Oh yeah, oh yeah, more more more lol xx

Not so gentle, passions flow

Torrential love runs down below

He’s moving southward, stares at her

His wry smile spreads, what will occur?


Your turn……

Oh my my, he has made me so very wet

Does he think I’m still asleep, no I will bet

For his gentle touch has gathered pace

So aroused now my heartbeats race

Her heartbeats race, as he expects

His fingers slip into her sex

She arches up, he plunges deep

There’s no damn way that she’s asleep

Oh damm it now my game is up for sure

So move your fingers for I want more

Has sleepy touching made your cock hard?

If it has then my slumber was not marred 😉

Very good my sexy poet. 🙂

Now for the last….

Her writhing gives away her plan

Not feigning now, don’t give a damn

With cock erect, he moves on in 

And plunges deep inside her quim


See you soon sexy laydaaaay 🙂


We had fun later that night on his return from work, so why don’t you try it today and see what you get tonight? KS.

In the heat of June

My name is Jenny and I am happily married to Matt and we have 3 lovely children. Well I say children they are adults now and have left home, two of them going to university and one off travelling the world. My husband works away a lot and that can make me feel a bit lonely especially as we live out in the sticks, ten minutes away from the nearest village and twenty minutes from a town. The houses near me are all fairly spaced out, large expensive houses, most of them with electric gates and even though we have been living here for five years I don’t really know many of the neighbours. Matt and I have a good relationship but over the last year or so, things have declined and we have only had sex a handful of times, and they weren’t particularly memorable. I suppose it’s only natural after twenty years of marriage for things to go a bit stale, but if I could change anything, then I would like for Matt to be more interested in sex, and in me. I’m not trying to make excuses for myself here, I’m just painting you a picture, of where perhaps my head is or was in that naughty, unforgivable but incredibly exciting week of June.

The month was June and it was a lovely sunny day, which was a nice start to the week. I hoped that the good weather would continue. Matt had just left for the week, off to Germany for some business meetings with some potential new clients. So I was to be on my own again but with the weather looking good I had lots of plans for the week dealing with my unruly garden amongst other things, but only after Molly’s daily walk. She needed it and so did I.

“Come on Molly let’s take you for your walk.”and off we went. I tried to go at the same time every day to keep myself in some kind of routine. I had two walking routes, either turning left or right out of my drive. I would take it in turns, one day left the next right and so on, and today I went left. This way took me at least an hour, taking me down to the canal using the road but also taking me to a public walkway that goes across the fields. A lovely walk but it happened to cross one of the neighbour’s homes and garden. A fantastic building called the stone tower.

A stone building, an isolated, rectangular tower of three stories with a converted barn next to it. I would always say to myself how I wouldn’t like a public footpath to go through my garden and have strangers on my land at any given time, but I guess they knew about it when they (who ever they are) bought it. I presume they are out at work when I pass through on my walks as I have never seen the owners.

As I approach I get my normal nervous feeling as it feels wrong to be on someone’s property, I am a bit of a goody two shoes and worry about such things, even though I know I’m allowed to use this path. Anyway as I turned into the drive I saw lots of gardening equipment on the grass; lawn mower, rake, gloves etc so I assume they have a gardener, although I didn’t see a van or anything.

I cross the drive wondering if I will see whoever has left that equipment there, then on through the garden, gazing at the beautiful building as I stroll past. The story of Rapunzel pops into my head as usual, and daydreaming I wonder what it would be like to live in such a place. I stop to remove some gravel that has got stuck in my sandal and bend over to sort it out. Suddenly I get the feeling I am being watched and I stand up and turn around. Behind me just a few feet away is a man grinning. A very good looking muscly man of around forty. He was squatting on the floor holding a trowel and wearing no top but sporting lots of tattoos. Immediately I feel embarrassed as I realised he must have had a good eyeful of my bum in my tight shorts as I was bent over just in front of him. I nervously say hello and he replies with “Hello.” not a normal friendly hello, more of a lustful hello, you know the sort. Feeling a little intimidated I wave half heartedly and walk on quite quickly to get out of the garden as soon as possible. A mixture of feeling flattered and being a bit unnerved at the same time came over me.
I don’t normally see anyone here and no one had said hello like that to me before, well not since I reached my thirties anyhow. I giggle to myself as I reach the safety of the stile and the normal footpath, and I continue with my walk, only now I have a bit of a spring in my step.

Tuesday morning and already the sun is beating down. I have decided that I will go left again out of the drive for my daily walk with Molly. I am wondering if I will see that sexy gardener again which secretly I hope I do. I get dressed and spend far more time than normal getting ready and doing my hair. I told myself off, after all what the hell am I doing dolling myself up in the hope that I will see this man. I’m a married woman, and I should behave as such. I carry on telling myself I want to look nice for myself really…not him, and I continue on out of the house.

As I approach the drive with my mad dog Molly, straight away I see the equipment out on the drive and I realise he’s here again but I can’t see him. Just then a rabbit runs by and before I have a chance to grab her Molly can’t resist and she legs it off to catch it. “Oh no.” I think. “Why now you bloody pest Molly?”
I cross the drive then go through the garden and stop near where I saw the gardener crouching yesterday. I turn and look around but he is not there. I feel a little disappointed and turn to walk the other way to go and find the bloody dog, who has unfortunately now gone into the private part of the garden. “Great.”I say. “I might get told off for trespassing now, thanks a lot Molly.” I tentatively walk in the garden and call out “Molly!” but not too loud as I don’t want to draw attention to myself and my trespassing ways. Suddenly he pops out in front of me, no shirt on and looking hot and sweaty and sexy, holding Molly in his arms. “Is this what you are looking for Miss?” Startled I somehow managed to get the words out. “Urm, yes, sorry, that is my naughty dog, she ran after a rabbit. I’m so sorry I know I shouldn’t be in here.”

“Well I won’t tell on you” he said “my name is Robert what’s yours?” The word Jenny stumbled out of my mouth. Why was I so nervous? I felt like a teenager, all giggly and awkward in front of this very handsome tattooed and very strong looking man. “Hello Jenny.” he said, looking me up and down. I could feel his dark brown lustful eyes upon me. Penetrating, like he was undressing me. It has been a long time since I’d felt anyone’s lustful gaze….and it felt good, exciting and wrong but it made me tingle all over. “Get a grip.” I think to myself, “You’re a grown woman, married, and one shouldn’t be enjoying this kind of attention.” “Thank you for getting Molly, now I must go and leave you to your work. I’m sorry to have interrupted you.

“Robert passed Molly to me and said “I very much enjoy being interrupted, especially by a beautiful woman such as yourself.”
I blushed, not knowing where to look, and hastily took Molly from his arms. But as I did our arms touched and it was like electricity shooting through my body. I wonder did he feel it too, or was I just on my own with that and being ridiculous. I bent down to attach Molly’s lead and as I stood up I realised that Robert had moved forward into my space. My face met his bare, but hairy chest that was glistening with his sweat in the sunlight. For a moment I couldn’t move, I was frozen in time. Somehow this man was making me go all weak at the knees, like he had some kind of hold over me. I take stock and step back, realising that really I should go now. “Oh sorry.” said Robert and he stepped back. At the same time his dark eyes were upon me and they looked so full of intent. Now I knew it was time to go, “Come on Molly, thanks again Robert and goodbye.” I said as I backed away towards the path that would take me out of this garden and back to the public footpath. “Lovely to meet you Jenny.” he called after me. As I reached the safety of the path, embarrassed, I breathe a sigh of relief but at the same time, a big naughty grin appears on my face.

It’s now Wednesday morning and it is approaching ten o’clock and time for Molly’s walk. I tell myself I will be turning right out of the drive today as I am a married woman and I should behave accordingly and so I shouldn’t be putting myself into such situations.
Dressed in a loose fitting, floaty see through blouse, and denim shorts as the weather is still warm, I walk off down the drive with Molly. The sun is shining now but showers are predicted for later. I reach the end of the drive and instinctively I go left. What are you doing, I thought to myself, well…this is a shorter walk and rain is predicted, and I don’t want to be out too long. Going the other way I’m bound to get caught in it, and it is a much longer route. I reason with myself and continue on down the road, the sun shine putting a spring into my step.
But as I approach the stone tower, the sky goes dark and the heavens open…I reached into my back pack for my umbrella but it wasn’t there. With the rain being so heavy, and with no umbrella I decide I had better run for cover. I know that if I run through the stone towers garden, cross over the stile, then I will be be back on the public path and I will be able to seek shelter, in the old stables that are a little way down the road.
Disappointed now that I probably won’t get to see the sexy gardener because of the rain, and soaking wet through to boot, I run across the drive and then on into the garden. The rain is torrential now, and myself and Molly looking like drowned rats. I curse the fact that I forgot my brolly and wish that shelter was nearer. It is a big garden to cross and the public footpath runs down the right hand side of it. Over on the left side where the path goes into the private garden there is a large garden shed. Its door is open and I think, maybe I could take shelter there, just until the rain stops. No cars were on the drive, no gardening equipment anywhere to be seen, so I don’t think anyone is home. “Ok, this is ridiculous, just go over there, your only taking shelter from this rain for goodness sake. “You’re not going to burgle the place you silly woman.” So I run across to the private bit and in through the open shed door to seek refuge from the down poor. Upon entering the large shed I breathe a sigh of relief as I look at Molly and rub her wet head saying “phew…that’s better isn’t it Molly?” I think Molly actually wanted to go back outside as she was enjoying the running bit. I look around but can’t see the back of the shed as there is a lot of stuff in there, and I tell Molly that we won’t stay long and that the rain will slow down soon enough. I run my hands through my hair and squeeze the water out of it, then I look at my top which is so wet it is now see through, showing my bra which is now also see through. “Look at the state of me” I say to Molly.

“I think you look beautiful” says a voice from behind me. I turn around to see Robert standing there at the back of the shed, again with no top on, and he too is soaking wet. He walks towards me and I say, “sorry I didn’t realise you were in here…I just wanted to seek some shelter, sorry, I know I shouldn’t be in here.” Robert walked over to me and right up into my personal space, his bare wet chest just a few inches away from me. “Don’t worry Jenny, it is Jenny isn’t it?” “Yes”I stammer.
“I too had to run in here, it came on rather suddenly didn’t it?” said Robert.
“Yes and silly me I forgot my umbrella and that is the only reason I’m in here trespassing, I’m so sorry.”
“Well don’t worry” he said and he held my chin and lifted it so I was looking him in the eye, “I won’t tell on you, and as for looking a state, well Miss, this is your best look so far this week. “I did like those very tight shorts you had on on Monday, but today….today I can see your breasts and your erect nipples through your very wet blouse.
Well I must have turned purple, I didn’t expect that retort. He went on saying “Thank God the rain came when it did, and made your top transparent.” “Your breasts look divine under that flimsy fabric.” I blush even more and pull my chin away from his hand. Embarrassed, I try to cross my arms in front of my chest, and my Miss wet T shirt competition look, to cover my embarrassment. I’m not sure how to react or what to say. I feel shameful even though I haven’t done anything wrong. He takes my crossed arms, and I let him, away from in front of me.
“Don’t hide your beauty away Jenny, let me gaze upon you for just a few minutes more.” I can’t quite believe this is happening. Why am I letting him do this? Why am I still standing here letting this man I don’t know, talk to me in such a way, and look at what should be for my husbands eyes only? This man has some kind of mesmerising hold on me. He looks at me and says again.
“Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone about your trespassing if…..if you let me touch your breasts Jenny?
“Please don’t” I say with embarrassment, but before I know it he has cupped my left breast through my wet blouse. It is in his hand and I’m letting him hold it, my breast, “oh my God,” I think. Then he cups the other one so both are in his grasp. I let out out a sigh of pleasure. “Wow, you feel wonderful.” he said, and with that I pull away even though I am enjoying the touch of this man. I simply can’t let it go any further. “I’m sorry I have to go, I shouldn’t, I mean…err um” and I couldn’t get the words out. Then he put his finger on my lip, in a way as to shush me, but then his finger traced around my lips gently and then delicately down onto my chin and onto my neck. The
feeling was so intense. I felt unable, or, unwilling to move. It had been a long time since I had been so aroused, and feeling so vulnerable at the same time, it was amazing. Robert caressed my neck and my shoulders with his fingers, then he leaned in and softly kissed my neck, very tenderly. He had awakened every cell in my body. I was shocked at how aroused I was and that I didn’t want to stop what was going on. Robert looked me in the eyes and began to unbutton my blouse, slowly but in an accomplished manner. All the time looking deep into my eyes and making me go so weak at the knees that all thoughts of right and wrong went out of my head.
My chest was exposed now, and heaving up and down with anticipation. Wild thoughts buzzing through my mind, what else was to come my way? I didn’t have to wait long to find out. He kissed my chest slowly, moving towards my breasts. Whilst cupping one breast with his hand his mouth moved toward my erect nipple, he kissed it then he licked it, slowly and so magnificently, like he was licking the best 99 ice cream he had ever had. I squirmed with delight. Swapping over he licked my other nipple in the same delightful way.
Slowly Robert moved his hand down towards my shorts and whilst kissing my neck his hands unbuttoned my shorts, pulled the zip down and said, “I want to feel if you are aroused my dear, I want to feel your wetness. If you are wet I will know that you like what I am doing to you and I will know to give you more.”
I feel embarrassed at what he will find, I know I’m soaking wet down there but feel embarrassed to be so. This is so naughty and wrong and he will find out soon that I am a very turned on woman. “Oh my!” he says as his fingers delve beneath my silk panties to explore my wet pussy. “I don’t think I’ve come across a wetter pussy in a long time. You are a very receptive, sexual woman.” His fingers felt long and strong as they probed deeper into my pussy, in and out, in and out, faster and faster. Then, using his wet fingers he would brush past and then flick my clit, then go back inside, then out again on my clit. “oh my God this is amazing” I think to myself.
“I can’t wait to plunge my cock into your juiciness” said Robert.
I was thinking the same thing…that I wanted him to take me there and then.
And with that, he pulled down my shorts very fast, spun me around and made me lean onto some storage boxes in the shed. He grasped at my hair, pulling it all together into a pony tail ….he was very soft and delicate with it at first but just as quickly he pulled hard on my hair, and at the same he pulled down my knickers, spread my legs a little and entered my pussy from behind.
I gasped at the feeling of his cock entering my hot wetness. He felt so hard and in control, I felt like his plaything as he rammed his cock in and out and in and out, at the same time pulling my hair, and pulling me further back onto his hard cock. Then he pulled out and spun me back round and pushed me back towards a table. He threw everything off it and lifted me up. He placed me on the table and lifted my legs up and apart so he could enter me. With one hand on my leg to keep it up the other he used to play with my clit, flicking it and squeezing it gently and rubbing it whilst fucking me hard at the same time…eventually making me come. Moments later he pulled out and came all over my belly and my pussy.
In a combined moment we both revelled in being spent, our breathing once heavy and panting was slowing now. I felt fantastic but…It wasn’t long before I felt completely ashamed. “I must get out of here.” I jump up and gather my self together , I look at Robert and our eyes meet, we say nothing. He smiles, a knowing look, and I reciprocate and head for the door, I pick up Molly’s lead, and I turn to him and say…”if you don’t mind…this didnt happen ok….I shouldn’t…we shouldn’t have done this, Im sorry, I won’t come this way again. Hopefully you will go and work elsewhere and no one need know about this, ok”? Robert smiled and nodded his head in acknowledgement.
With a mixture of feelings rushing through my body, I head very quickly for the path of safety that would take me home.

A few weeks later we attend a neighbours barbecue, an elderly lady called Grace had arranged it. We hadn’t been to many neighbourhood gatherings before, so we felt that it was about time that we should attend one. It wasn’t long before I was asked had I met the new owners of the tower.”No I didn’t know it had been sold” I said.
Grace then said, “Oh yes, I think they moved in about three weeks ago. Come over here my dears and I will introduce you. They seem to be a lovely couple. Robert and Claire, let me introduce you to Matt and Jenny.”

To be continued……

18 and Life

Twas Eighteen years ago today my life changed for the best
I knew I’d met my soul mate and together we would nest
I married you that day in March because I loved you so 
And happy was I you’d asked for me to come and be your beau
We’ve  had our ups we’ve had our downs but here we stand still strong
Together I hope we will remain as lovers and soul-mates lifelong
You know how to make me happy, you know how to bring a smile
We will grow old and grey together and probably go senile
Thank you my darling for all that you are
You are my life and to me a real star
Without you I cannot do and really I wouldn’t want to
So thanks once again for saying those words to me I do
I started writing this on our anniversary day
But distracted I was with your sexy way
Having fun and frolics at the Ettington chase hotel
Which of course we both know how to do so well
So forgive me for taking so long
It’s only a poem and not a furlong
They say good things come to those who wait
Not sure this poem is, but together IS our fate
Love Love Love

Kandy’s new thang

This is my first blog post 🙂

My name is Kandy and I have decided to write a blog to do with my interest in sex and anything that might come under that umbrella, from porn to relationships, poems and erotic stories, toys, hotels and clubs etc etc. After looking at what is out there on the internet for couples and women, there is indeed a vast array of things to tempt and interest but not enough information and not all in one place either.
I would like to add my bit of information, knowledge, opinions and views etc, to help other women and couples out there like me, that enjoy sex and enjoys trying new things in order to keep their sex lives fresh, exciting and enjoyable. So, that’s some of my blog ideas so far, whilst at the same time throwing in a story or 2 or a poem that I have written, mainly sex based of course 🙂 but also some based on love and relationships too.
Kandy Sparks.x